Have you ever wished you could read people's minds? I love watching people; their ticks and quirks, how they move and what they are saying without saying it! The nurse & massage therapist in me loves to figure out what ailments affect the people I observe, which muscles are tight, postural issues, deformities and misalignments.....so forgive me if you see me watching you intently!
Here are some gestures and body language tips that can help you read peoples behavior and navigate some of the interactions you have on a daily basis. Try some and let me know how it works for you.
Engaging People
When you raise your eyebrow, it's a sign that you are not threatening. In fact, if you use it, you might even elicit a smile from the person you engage with! When you meet someone, the first person to look away is the most submissive. If someone maintains strong eye contact it means they are interested in you if their pupils are dilated or challenging you if their pupils are constricted.
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Those Lying Eyes!
Want to know who is lying and who is telling the truth? If a persons blink rate increases, they are likely lying about the subject of the conversation. If the person looks up and to the left, they are creating a visual image of something that they never saw or never happened. Are they showing their palms when they talk? If yes, they are telling the truth. If not, they most likely are not being completely honest. You can make people be more truthful by using your hands and showing your palms when you are talking.
Hands & Arms
If people have their arms crossed in front of them, they are guarded. They are not comfortable in the situation. It's an extension of how they are feeling. It ususally means that they feel threatened, don't like or don't trust something. Hands clenched means the person is holding back a negative reaction. Wrist holding behind your back means they are trying to maintain self control. Placing their head on open hands means that they admire the person they are paying attention to. Ever see someone picking imaginary lint off their clothes while talking to you? They have a secret opinion that they are not willing to share. Hands folded in front of you means you are feeling vulnerable. Pointing at a person is annoying to most people. Rubbing your hands together shows that you are expecting something positive and the speed of your hand rubbing demonstrates who will benefit. Slow = just for you. Fast = everybody.
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Are You Superior?
A steepled hand gesture represents confidence and pressing your forefinger to your thumb is an authoritative action. Holding hands behind your back shows confidence in a feeling of superiority and thumbs protruding from pockets show the person feels superior to others. Hands on hips generally means the person is preparing to dominate. Thumbs tucked into pants is a very aggressive sign.
How we percieve people and read their body language influences our behavior and level of comfort. With time and effort, you can be aware of your thoughts, body language and perception of others. I've used a number of these gestures and tips to manage difficult conversations and read people before speaking about medical issues. How do you use body language to help you? Feel free to share....she says with a raised eyebrow, outstretched hands and palms facing upwards!
