Grieving The Loss Of Your Special Pet?

For most of us, the depth of attachment and love we feel for our pets only grows stronger over the years. But inevitably, humans most often outlive the lifespan of their companion animals.

Owners are left to struggle with the loss, often while friends, family and co-workers do not fully understand the enormity of their grief.

For some, the departed animal was a primary source of daily companionship and comfort. For others, the animal represents a an earlier period of time in the owner's life; a puppy acquired while children were young. A stray cat taken in long before the divorce.

Then suddenly they are gone, leaving behind a series of intertwined memories, as well as a burgeoning sense of grief.

Regardless of the uniquely individual situation and relationship a mourning owner had with their departed pet, sometimes there simply comes a time when the sadness is too much to bear alone.

Often the owners of pets who have passed on are unable to move beyond their sorrow. Sadness can morph into depression, anger, anxiety, sleeplessness and abject disinterest in the things which previously offered pleasure while the animal was still alive.

Many experience persistent guilt after having to euthanize their pet, either because their finances were unable to buffer the blow of extensive medical treatment or because the animal was suffering.

Fortunately, Oradell Animal Hospital, in conjunction with Susan Dowd Stone, LCSW (a licensed clinical social worker who is certified in bereavement counseling), together offer a Pet Bereavement Support Class as well as a Pet Bereavement Support Group Session.

Since 2004, when the passing of her own dear dog Dickens, Ms. Stone has been providing professional pet bereavement support to others at Oradell Animal Hospital.

As someone who writes and lectures about the importance of the "animal-human bond," Ms. Stone is well equipped to counsel (and empathize) with others who value their animal companions.

For those currently enrolled in the hospice at Oradell Animal Hospital who are providing the difficult task of caretaking required by a terminally ill animal, Ms. Stone offers a Support Class.

And for those who have already experienced the terrible loss of their close companion, she leads a Bereavement Group. Those attending the group are encouraged to bring a photograph of their very special friend who has passed on.

"The group is always wonderful, always different," says Stone. "Grief over a pet is not to be disenfranchised or diminished. I don't want people who experience the loss of a treasured pet to be pushed into "getting over it" because others do not understand the depth of this loss."

Stone goes on to explain that while the participants in the group come from all walks of life, they are experiencing similar emotions, emotions which are "completely appropriate."

"Some people come to the group after experiencing a sudden trauma when a pet has been killed by a car," she continues. "Others have nursed a pet through a long, costly, traumatic illness and have finally had to make the decision to end the animal's suffering."

"When an animal can no longer be who they want to be," Ms. Stone says, "when they can no longer be who they are meant to be....there is no choice but euthanasia."

Still, so many who make this decision suffer profound guilt afterwards, compounded only by their loss. All of it, no matter the circumstances, is a hard road for anyone who loves animals to travel alone.

"Having the capacity to bond so deeply with an animal is such a gift!" Ms. Stone says wholeheartedly. And despite the terrible sadness of having lost dear Dickens, she remains "...so thankful he was in my life!"

The Bereavement Group at Oradell Animal Hospital promises participants three essential elements for healing: confidentiality, validation and understanding.

To familiarize themselves with Ms. Stone's commitment to helping others process their loss, potential participants in the bereavement group might benefit from viewing her website.

The site offers a blog, helpful links and much compassion.

The pet bereavement group meets once a month on Tuesday evenings at 7pm. For more information, call: (201)-262-0010 Extension 152.