Family Is Not Enough When You're Unemployed

Recently a friend confided to me that often when she comes home from work, she discovers her unemployed husband "asleep on the sofa with the TV on, curled in the fetal position."

Their relationship has begun to suffer under the strain, and my friend is concerned that she and the rest of the family will not able to provide the kind of ongoing support and encouragement her husband needs.

It's this type of situation that (NHN) is intended for. NHN is a peer/volunteer group for those who are "actively looking for work and/or would like to re-invigorate their job search."

Unlike many networking organizations which charge fees for membership, NHN is completely FREE. Local resident John Fugazzie started this very viable support and networking group when he discovered himself among the countless unemployed awash in America's economic downturn.

Loss of a job packs a powerful impact, not only on the individual, but on his or her family as well. According to the Wiki list of the "Top Ten Most Stressful Things In Life," losing a job comes in third, following close behind the devastation of divorce and death-related bereavement.

Along with layoffs, there are many other forms of career transitions that bring about conflict and confusion, only some of which include: being fired, being insufficiently employed, being a recent graduate just entering the workforce or trying to re-enter the work-world after taking a hiatus.

Regardless of the individual circumstances surrounding how one gets to such a point, the feelings around being there are unanimous: It Sucks.

There are many hurdles around being jobless, only some of which include:

• Financial survival: Many who lose jobs are forced to make choices they never would have imagined for themselves, such as declaring bankruptcy, selling homes and moving back in with parents.
• Health Insurance: Sky-high Cobra costs are prohibitive for many. For some, losing a job also means losing essential health coverage for themselves as well as for the entire family.
• Isolation: The daily isolation of unemployment is often similar to that of a person stricken by a severe illness. Suddenly a person suffering a job loss finds themselves out of synch with the rest of their friends, family and former colleagues.
• Depression: Feeling overwhelmed by the situation, particularly if it has been ongoing, can easily lead to a sense of hopelessness and futility. 

Ultimately, unemployment creates a chain of unexpected and unwanted events in any family. Children absorb the anxiety of their parents, while elder family members may suddenly feel responsible again for their adult children facing difficulties. Family members who have for years, lived separately (and happily) are suddenly forced to cohabitate. 

Although our relatives and friends can offer kind words and put up a good front, tensions can build quickly when someone is out of work. Often when a partner is unemployed, marriages and other relationships falter. It is very important when experiencing a career transition, that a job-seeker look for sources of support outside of family or friends.

With the very instrumental assistance of Daragh O'Connor, Director of the , John Fugazzie was able to get NHN up and running in the most proactive and professional manner possible.

O'Connor provides members with a regular meeting room reserved for their purposes, and familiarizes them with some of the newest job search tools available through the library.

In addition he keeps the shelves stocked with tutorials on various social networking usage for beginners through more advanced users; essential components for a job search in our contemporary market. O'Connor has been helping with internet searches, computer classes and guiding members to reference sources to make their searches more productive.

Group members learn techniques to improve their own individual job search, share networking tips and work towards implementing a solid weekly agenda geared to bring each member closer to their specific goal.

Approximately 12-15 people attend on a regular basis and the group totals a membership of 30. The group began meeting on January 27, 2011 and happily, there have been several success stories!

The group's leader, John Fugazzie, is one of them.
Now back in the workforce, he still feels connected to the group and is enthusiastic about the potential of networking and staying strong enough to ride out the search for appropriate employment.

The success of the River Edge group has led other NJ libraries to contact Mr. Fugazzie and Mr. O'Connor for recommendations on how to start their own support and networking groups.

When dealing with the considerable stressors of looking for a job, often family members are simply too close to the situation to be able to really help. It's so important to find a group of like-minded individuals who are experiencing similar frustrations and emotions.

Unfortunately, my friend and her unemployed husband live in another state where there is no free assistance of this kind available. But perhaps her husband will be able to use NHN as a model and initiate his own local support and networking group. Chances are, if he does it will make a difference.

Neighbors Helping Neighbors meets each Thursday from 7:00 PM to 8:30 PM at The River Edge Library.

For more information contact John Fugazzie/Telephone: 201-262-0103
or email:  johnrfugazzie@aol.com.